So this is becoming a big issue I presume. I've concluded this, not only because it is driving me fucking crazy, but I am probably already crazy. I think I have some major insecurity problems. I don't even know what the hell I think anymore, or what is acceptable. Well first of all, I figure that if everyone has gotten through a relationship with a few minor problems, that it should give me an acception, forgetting that it varys (varies?) to every couple, and that everyone is different, and I am starting to hate how I always try to rationalize things and I come up with fucking stupid ass conclusions. Whenever I try to simplify things to make me feel better, it never quite works out, and I try to pull off being a hardass, and try to ignore all that i'm thinking and just sleep all day to forget about it, then when I wake up I feel even worse than I did when I went to sleep. I try to refrain from distorting my perceptions to make things seem more simple..I don't want to be in some insane asylum because I couldn't figure out how to handle my emotions, and to think of it, I am being pretty emo right now, but I could care less, mostly because I am not some emotionless humanoid robot who can't feel when they're touched.Though the deal is, I know I am young and everything, not like that's a reasonable factor to think of, considering even most adults that've been married and divorced, and created, and destroyed families, can't even begin to feel about someone they way I do about this guy. So age is irrelevant right now. Besides, I can deal with being emo, as long as I don't start dying my hair pink and black and start saying shit like "HARDXCORE!, OMFG GUYS KIZZING IS SO HAWT!" and other nonsense of that sort, i'll be fine.

;( Jesus Em Effing Cryst. I am going to die.
I think I will just like sniff my socks to take my mind off of Kevin.
I miss him so much :( it's going to make me cry my asshole off.
And that would be a bad thing, cause when I stick my finger up my ass it makes my masturbation better.
How can I do that if I cry my asshole off?

Maybe I should read the bible, so I can bash on religion more properly.
Though I've heard from the only two males that I give a shit about.
Kevin said something about him never being able to finish it, because it sounds like some bullshit fairytale.
My dad said something like, it's complete nonsense, and it will just make you want to shit your pants.

However, I've never been a fan of religion mostly because...Haha..It's religion.
I'd feel cheesy saying "I LOVE YOU JESUS! YOU'VE HELPED ME THROUGH ALL OF THIS!"
You want to know who helped me through the tough times?
ME.
I had no spritual guidence, and I am not going to accredit some fake godly figure, for something I put my own ass into.
It's like, you build a pyramid.
Afterwards you say "IF IT WEREN'T FOR JESUS! I COULD'VE NEVER DONE IT!"
Alright buddy, if it weren't for jesus you probably would've build seven of them six times faster and five times better.

Most of all this nonsense occured while I was writing my persuasive essay.
Which will be to abolish religion because it kills more people than war.
Then again I probably do not personally know any of the people it has killed, and over population does seem to be a problem in this world some what.

Aside from that, a while ago I decided on a presidential death match.
Like seriously.
Let's say one of your friends, starts shit with some other "Crew"...
And it turns into this giant fucking conspiracy.
Where YOUR family memebers are getting killed, and YOUR money is being put into this.
ALL because SOMEONE ELSE started shit, that you've taken no part in.
Why risk the lifes of thousands of people, because we have one shit talker?
Are we the ones who started this nonsense?
They are basically saying: " Well...I sort of....can't get along with those stupid sand niggers and come to a truce....So..You're going to have to...go to war with about....a couple hundred thousand other troops...And risk your lives for what I started"
This is NOT about YOUR country.
This is NOT even your country.
You can't even afford your motherfucking gas, and somehow you still trot along believing that this is a beautiful country that you love and would sacrifice your life to save.


This isn't our country, it'sa battle field!
-Gets all American History X style-

So like after I was deciding on my first tattoo, which will be two naughtical stars, that will say yellow card below them, I then decided to go to ticketmaster.com to look for emo band tickets, so me and mike, when he comes down, can totally be emo together, I now refer to smoking ciggerates as smoking fags, I am so scene!1!1one one one1!!1 one one one.
Lovely. Simply Lovely.

...I am going to stop procrastinating on this fucking food issue...I AM GOING TO GO MAKE SOME GODDAMN FOOD! AND I AM GOING TO LIKE IT!-Though I saw a cockaroach in the kitchen the other night which stranded me on the island counter of my kitchen. It was just a tiny ass roach, and i tried spitting on it, and throwing paper at it, and eventually i threw this thing at it full of pictures and it blocked my view of the roach itself, and i think it crawled under the fridge, but when i spit on it, i was like..PWNT! BITCH!

This time I am really going to make something to eat...Hmmmm....Goddamnit, we need soda or something..Wait..Though I do think I have a cup of it sitting on the counter...Food time! -dances-.

Though I do feel pretty bad for being mean to my sugar ;( I hope he's not going to hold at against me for very long. -drowns in puddle of piss-.

I am hungry. Make me chicken. Now. Or I will be forced to throw my shit at you.

Sometimes I wonder why people try to make me jealous of them.
It honestly makes me sick.
Or when they're jealous of me cause I'm good friends with the guy they like and he likes me.
As if that's my goddamn fault.
Sometimes, it's just like, jesus fucking christ, I do not like your little boyfriend, so stop being such a fucking weirdo on me for christ sake.
Those dirty piss stains, trying to piss me off, and I'm sitting my dumbass here, like o rly? How dare them!
I SHOULD GIVE THEM THE FINGER! Or the shocker, I don't know about you, but I don't like sticking my pinky up my ass, I can't even get my hand at the right angle to do the shocker.




There.

So i've come to the conclusion that my bladder is about to burst and I am going to write completely pointless bullshit in here until my ears bleed.